


I'm usually bad ( but you make me so good )

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, D/s, Dirty Talk, Dom Harry, Dom/sub Play, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hair Pulling, M/M, Smut, Spanking, Sub Louis, Subspace, bottom! Louis, dumb boys with feelings, first fic, first smut, i AM louis in the story, implied topspace, near subdrop, please dont read if you arent into this, shit at summarys but give it a go will ya ?, soo sorry if this is shit, top! Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 22:47:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1364563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>''Look at me. Don't fucking stop looking at me '' Harry snaps and he does, looks straight at him '' I am going to fuck you up. I'm going to really hurt you.Since its the only way to get through to you  '' He's only aware now of how much his chest is constricting, how it feels like someone has stuffed cotton wool in his ears, he swallows mouth dry '' Bring it on '' is all he says</p><p>or</p><p>the one where Louis is a fucking stubborn sub.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm usually bad ( but you make me so good )

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii! first fic, first smut, first everything so feedback and kudos/comments (if i deserve them) are very much appreciated. This may become a verse. I love writing these two !
> 
> This is all lies obviously but this is based on my own personal experiences believe it or not ( hey dont give me those judgey eyes). The things said in the fic have been said in real life in a loving consenting relationship so please bear that in mind. Warnings for D/s behavior etc. Please check the tags !

Louis really doesn't want to be here.

Maybe he is being utterly selfish but he doesn't care, he has right to be he thinks because this is the first full day Harry and him have been back in London and he's been dragged to art show of someone he barely knows,barely said two word too.

It's not that he doesn't like Alexa, of what little he knows about her, it's just that he really didn't picture the first day him and Harry landed back in home turf to be spent in some stuffy gallery.

He really hoped he would be getting his brains fucked out by now to be honest.

He complained and complained, the whole way home from Paris where Harry was photographing Paris fashion week. Harry's job takes him all over the world and Louis was lucky enough to get time off from his work to come with him.

It was amazing,and he is hardly a fashion guru but watching the splash of colours blend together,the sharp cheekbones of the models and the gasps of the crowd was spectacular but he isn't ashamed to admit he spent half his time lingering on Harry, his face screwed up in concentration clicking away at the camera.

He was so proud telling everyone who would listen that his boyfriend was one of the front row photographers and it was really great but the thing was.. Harry was busy really fucking busy and he barely had enough time for a quick snog never mind anything else and it left Louis reeling.

He fully intended to get comfortable on his knees as soon as they stepped through the front door but Harry casually mentioned last last night when they got through the door that 'while they are at it we might as well pop in on Alexa's opening show' tommorow 

He couldn't believe the words were quite coming out of his mouth. He put up a fight, arguing and whining until he was blue in the face. 

So they snapped and spat at each other the whole ride over. Harry called him petulant and just go home if it's that much of a big deal which was a low fucking blow really because wherever Harry went Louis fucking followed. 

So here he was sipping out of champagne flute while Harry pranced around because apparently he knows everyone and isn't that just fucking peachy ? Leaving Louis to stand here like a fucking lemon drinking sickly champagne and staring at a piece of art that can only be described as a trash can with a red circle on the lid

The opening bid is a million quid and Louis seriously reconsidering his life 

" it's a fucking bin..a fucking bin" he hears a familiar voice and it's no other than a very bored, very tan looking Liam. It startles Louis a bit because despite the fact Zayn and Liam are partially family he had not an inkling they were even attending tonight 

" when the fuck did you get here ?! Where's Zayn ?"He asks wide eyes, Liam gently laughs slugging his champagne " like ten minutes ago. He's over there " he points to a velvet suit clad Zayn wrapped up in conversation with the other arty folks. Louis feels Liam's pain " he drag you here huh ?" He asks keeping his voice light " perks of been married to an sculptor" he yawns " thought you would be home by now, surprised to see you here Louis,jet lag not hit you yet ? " he asks bumping his arm against his 

" yeah it's- Harry insisted we came " came ha ha.. Ha. He doesn't finish the sentence. There's a comfortable silence as they watch a pink haired girl stroke the trash can art tenderly. It's getting more action than Louis has had in a week and that's fucking depressing

A week, Christ. Except from the times Harry is away working they have never gone this long without having sex, not in the whole four years they've been together. 

He sighs exasperated " beautiful piece " Zayns voice radiates from beside Liam, staring lovingly at the trash can and Louis cannot look Liam in the eye right now because he will buckle over with laughter. He's tapping his ring finger against his champagne glass, its something Louis noticed every since he got married. It must comfort him

Talking of comfort, Harry is still halfway across the room talking excitedly with a bunch of suits and fancy dresses. He glares because Harry hasn't looked over once. Why make such a fuss to bring him here if he is going to act so distant ?!

he groans, apparently out loud judging by Zayns stares. They haven't moved from the million pound bin because Louis will collapse if he has to look at the same three pieces over and over again 

" Right what's up ?" Zayn sighs and Louis curses their childhood friendship because Zayn is always so good at working this shit out " you and Harry had a fight ? You've barely interacted with Haz since you got here ". He feels pathetic for it being so obvious, so clearly written on his face 

" we haven't like.. We haven't had sex in a week and now as soon as we are home and about to be alone he whisks me off to this pretentious as fuck art show and i just " he hasn't played with me in so long it feels like. He makes eye contact with Zayn and not something they have explicitly discussed but he knows Zayn definitely understands

" that happens though, life gets in the way " Liam tries to console him but it doesn't work though he appreciates the effort anyway " yeah you know that does blow but only an hour left and Harry is all yours " Zayn is smiling at him all perfect teeth and glassy eyes and yeah he probably got fucked just before they came here cos they are still stuck in there Honeymoon stage according to Zayn but Louis pretty sure it doesn't last as much as six months

The lucky bastard " yeah you're just saying that cause you two well shagged before you came here " someone tuts behind him.

Zayn shrugs relaxed as day and Liam barely flushes. Louis fondly remembers the days were he could easily embarrass Liam within an inch of his life.

" Yeah sorry man.. Well not really because Liam did this thing where-" he begins to explain because he isn't shy when it comes to raving about how good Liam is. Louis can't blame him, he does the exact same with Harry

He doesn't get to finish off his sentence before Liam clamps a loose hand to mouth, even in the half jokey manner he can see Zayns eyes flutter, his shoulders sag as he sinks back into Liam " ahh a demonstration" he mumbles laughter in his voice but Liam is only clamping his hand down harder as he whispers something intelligible " good luck with your situation Harry.. See you later " he murmurs eyes never leaving Zayn as they wander off, Zayn still wrapped in Liam touch.

He watches them with a stab of jealously, disappearing in between rows of chattering people. He scans the crowd still finding Harry in the same place, talking freely with his hand and god Louis loves him, just wants to show him how much.. He sighs again loudly this time wondering away from the trash can towards a waiter who is handing out more bitter champagne.

Alcohol is alcohol at this rate. He resists the urge to run spotting only one glass left on the black tray propped up on the waiter hands " thank you " he grabs the glass a bit to enthusiastically " Louis.. Hi " Louis glances at the waiter and stills

Aw shit 

" Aidan.. What a small world,hi" he garbles out, he's taken aback to say the least. What weird Utopian universe is this where Harry isn't rushing home for sex and Aidan, the guy who he last hooked up with, works in this very gallery ? It's all very strange and Louis wants something stronger than champagne

He looks good, not as tall as Harry but still he is decent enough dressed in all black " how are you ?" He speaks first tucking the tray under his arms " yeah good thanks yourself ?" Small talk is horrible and Louis finds himself subconsciously taking a few steps back as if trying to radiate back to Harry " yeah not bad.. I'm engaged now " he smiles all white teeth and Louis smiles back, looks like everyone on the planet is getting married before him he thinks in passing, not at all bitter. Not one bit " aw that's great mate, congratulations'' He feigns interest because honestly the last time he interacted with Aidan he had his hand shoved down his pants in a mcdonalds bathroom. Hardly his proudest moment but he was in Harrys course and had a mouth like a foghorn so it inevitably got back to him. He only did it because he caught Harry laughing with some pretty blonde girl at a party the night after they first slept together and how was he supposed to know that was his sister? ''What's his name ?" he asks slugging his drink 

Aidan looks like Louis just pissed on the floor,the color drains from his face and he swears he hears a pin drop " it's a girl actually.. Amanda " Louis bites his cheek bidding himself not to laugh because still after all this time Aidan is playing the straight boy act. He feels a rush of sympathy and this is now one hundred times more awkward than what it was before.

He wants to make a joke ' but mate last time i seen you, you told me you loved cock' and that is definitely something he will say in the privacy of Harry-

Harry. Louis brain short-circuits and then restarts again. Louis is a brat, a fucking brat and he knows that and most importantly he knows Harry. For all his mellow, laid backness he also happens to be single handily the most possessive person he knows. This is going to be fun

He should feel guilty as he reaches out to lightly stroke his arm asking lovingly about his wedding and his spouse with a vagina but he doesn't because already he can feel Harry's eyes on him, even from across the room and it's feel so good to have his attention on him

So he runs with it because he fully embraces his petulant side thank very much " you look really good Louis " Aidan blushes after a few more arm strokes reaching out to place a lingering hand on his shoulder, all he can seem to register is not Harry's touch and it's rattling around in his head " maybe we could get coffee one time.." He trails off

Everything seems to happen at once. Aidens clammy hand drops away from his shoulder almost instantly, Louis takes a step back, Harry takes a step in " Harry " Aidan smiles but he's still shuffling slowly back " Aidan " Harry grits out and he's angry, really angry his eyes practically burning, posture tense and defensive shielding Louis " well uh nice seeing you Louis. Bye " Aidan stutters scurrying off 

Harry slowly turns took look at him, green eyes wide and Louis is so small compared to him, he feels utterly engulfed and it sets his heart on edge " What was that? '' his voice is lower if possible, eyes hard staring with intent into his and even if he wanted to he couldn't get away

Louis is very aware that they are in a public place, in a bloody art gallery for the love of peace but that doesn't stop Harry crowding into his space '' You've barely paid attention to me '' is all that comes out barely a whisper and Harry's face doesn't soften one bit, he crosses his arms over his chest and you could cut the tension in the room with a knife

'' Follow '' is all he says making a right turn to wander back over towards the pretentious artists he was ignoring Louis for earlier and no, just no, Louis wont do it, he wont follow just to be ignored. He would rather sit in that million pound trashcan for the rest of his life than be shunned by Harry. So he plants himself firmly on the ground and stomps his foot.

Louis isn't dumb, he knows he is difficult, knows he is super bratty. He loves being submissive when he is that headspace but getting there is so so difficult, so hard just to hand the reins over right away, it takes time, if anyone should bloody know its Harry.Time and energy and even at that its not guaranteed Louis will go under.

He is a stubborn sub and he hates it but its so ingrained in him he cant change, he cant just automatically slip down to his subplace, not in the way Zayn inevitably can because he just isn't naturally submissive, not anymore at least and he has everyday dominant traits that are sowed into him. He isn't easy, isn't really worth all this he thinks, not when Harry's ex could go down with a click of a finger but well that is a story for another day.

He's never really directly said no and meant it, never but today feels different, the air is different. He is being extra difficult but this time it is with good reason. For the first time ever, the word no is on the tip of his tongue but somehow it doesn't make it out '' I'm not coming '' he says more confident than what he feels instead flicking his hair with extra attitude. Harry meets his eyes again and he looks shocked staring at the foot Louis just kicked the floor with in a temper tantrum not sure if he can quite believe that Louis just stomped his fucking foot. 

Hes going to absolutely get it when they get home

But right now he doesn't care, wants Harry to know he is angry for barely being touched in Paris,wants to know why Harry raves about how fucking good Louis is in bed when he doesn't take every and any opportunity to fuck him ? The distance between them feels horrible and Harry's chest is rising in quick,fast motions '' Don't say no to me Louis.. Do not push me, you will not like what you get. We're staying until the end. That's final '' His voice is completely level the whole time but it screams in Louis brain and one part of him is telling him to be good, but the proud part is telling him not to back down. 

But he has no keys, no money, they drove over here in Harry's car so its not like he has any real choice but he pauses for dramatic effect and Harry's eyes darken. It seeps through Louis bones. He nods once, dropping his eyes following Harry back over so he resume his conversation.

He stands like a third wheel smiling every once in a while even though he is sorely tempted to join in about how the trashcan with the red circle depicts the freedom of youth if only to poke fun at such nonsense but he cant seem to form words in his brain, his body is so goddamn intune to Harry all he can do it stick so close to him he can feel his every breath. 

Hes a slave to his body at a time like this and silently curses himself. Its not fucking fair that even though Harry is in the wrong his body is begging him for forgiveness.

Its turns out the end is only ten minutes away and Louis maybe too loudly sighs for relief when Harry says its time to go '' Lovely chatting with you Matilda,Beatrice,James '' he smiles ever so politely and oh he has the whole world wrapped around his finger doesn't he ? They wave Louis off as well and his smile may be more of a grimace but at this point he just wants to go home.

They walk in silence towards the exit, the only sound Harry swinging his car keys in his hands. He looks so cool and collected but his hands are shaking a bit. Good, he thinks, he hopes Harry is angry.

Except that he really,really doesn't because Louis is going to have hell to pay but he utterly refuses to back down. Not this time, just to make Harry even more pissed off he wont even try to go under, will stay in control of his thoughts. 

The journey isn't very long but it might as well be an eternity. By the time they pull up to the house the evening is closing in, the sky a swirl of black and blue. Colours that Louis is probably going to be familiar with very soon.

Harry switches off the engine and the silence reigns. Louis stares out the window looking at their little red sandstone house the last one of the cul-de-sac.

Harry clears his throat and there comes that body betraying you bit because Louis looks right at him. His eyes are blown black just a ring of familiar green is all that is left '' You've been so bad today, Louis. '' his voice is still calm, still authoritative and Louis drops his eyes '' Look at me. Don't fucking stop looking at me '' he does, looks straight at him '' I am going to fuck you up. I'm going to really hurt you. Since its the only way to get through to you '' He's only aware now of how much his chest is constricting, how it feels like someone has stuffed cotton wool in his ears, he swallows mouth dry '' Bring it on '' is all he says and its permission, silent permission because even through their anger and frustration they never ever do a scene where they aren't one hundred percent secure. Harry would never forgive himself if he done something without his full consent.

He nods once, before climbing out of the car slamming the door shut, his eyebrows are furrowed in concentration as he rounds the range opening Louis door for him, he pulls him out by the forearm gripping his bicep tight dragging him towards the house. Louis can barely keep up with his much bigger steps but Harry's grip never slips.

Hes squirming a bit when they steps through the front door but even he knows its fruitless. He assumes he is going upstairs but Harry surprises him instead leading him into their living room. 

He lets go and Louis has to bite back a whine from the loss on contact. '' Clothes off. On your knees. Sit here '' he points to the edge of the huge cream rug in the middle of the room. Harry walks out, and Louis has to cover his hand with his mouth in order to not beg for him to come back. He follows suite,peeling of his tight trousers and shirt discarding them in the corner somewhere. He kneels down in the spot Harry told him to bouncing on his heels.

If he had any stronger willpower he probably wouldn't sleep with Harry at all just to prove a point but he hasn't had so much as a wank in a week and its always so fucking good with Harry but that doesn't mean hes going to give it up. Harry cant just expect to ignore him all day and Louis will go down gladly,the mechanics in Louis mind just don't work like that. A pissed off stubborn sub is barely a sub at all he thinks with a shrug

But before he can divulge that Harry is stepping through the door still fully clothed '' Don't look at me '' he barks out,wasn't planning to he thinks but stares down at his lap instead. There is a shuffle of movement, a few things being moved around '' Louis ? '' Harry whispers but it still doesn't hold much affection. He takes this as sign to look up and Harry is still in dress clothes and Louis is completely naked. He feels so open, so raw, so vulnerable. '' Whats this ? ''

Hes moved the couches out to make more room for whatever reason and it sends a shiver down Louis spine that Harry has all this planned out and Louis has no fucking clue. For now though Harry face is stern, permanently locked in anger it seems and Louis is just totally amazed for a second how Harry can be so goofy and adorable pulling faces during boring conference meetings and then like this, totally animalistic and controlling, so on point it fucking humbles him. 

He loves him viciously. 

 

He follows Harry's eyes to the pile of Louis clothes in the corner, scattered messily. Louis huffs audibly. For fuck sake '' My clothes '' he says deadpan pointing out the obvious and he was willing to follow orders up to this point but this is just dragging it out. Harry looks like he has just been slapped. His mouth falls open and he is still pointing at the heap of clothes. He inhales and exhales before turning to face the wall leaning his forehead against it breathing deeply trying to calm down ''fold them up. Do you want me to clean up all your fucking messes today ? Fold them and get back to your place '' he spits back still turned away. They are pushing each other now, like they are both pulling the same door at opposites sides. Its never been like this before, he's a brat he knows but right now hes been straight up defiant. 

He huffs some more muttering 'ridiculous' under his breath not loud enough for Harry to make out but still clear enough that Harry knows hes complaining. He walks up to the pile of clothes and folds them before throwing them down on the couch. Is he fuck going to fold them to perfection , that will have to do because trying to coordinate with a semi is a challenge.

On his way back to his spot he notices some lube and other things lying on the second sofa and- his breath catches.

'' Dont look at that. Thats none of your concern. Sit down '' He does almost immediately because its hit him like a two ton truck that Harry isn't fucking around here.

They've only used it once. After a play party where a sub commented on how much of a handful Louis is after he (slightly) whined about using rope instead of handcuffs. If there is one thing you shouldn't do its undermine your Dom in a room full of them. He got the paddle that a night, a harsh wooden one with holes, so the air dragged faster when Harry hit him making the sting fucking burn. It was one of the first times Louis went properly under, he cried for an hour after, had to call into work the next day. His heart is hammering in his ears remembering his Scarlett red bum, how he could barely move for a full week after. It was intense and Harry is way more pissed off this time

Harry's socks come into focus as he hovers above, Louis concentrates on the thread of the socks because even just seeing that paddle is about to make him come on this fucking rug '' Love you '' Harry mutters, so quietly and that's usually the sign for the last shred of normality, just a reminder that no matter what happens between now and after Harry fucking loves him, they are about to step over the line now, enter that unfamiliar familiar scene they fall into every so often '' Love you too '' he whispers back because fuck does he, cant believe he has let someone get this close

'' Eyes '' He looks back up and even the way he stands makes Louis weak, legs slightly apart hands behind his back '' Tell me why I'm angry at you, why I'm so disappointed '' he asks voice a little louder, the word disappointed swims through Louis veins like lead, he can take angry, pissed off, furious but disappointment.. That's a whole other ball game '' Because I.. was speaking to Aidan '' he shrugs trying to go for nonchalant. He drops his eyes for a second and next thing he knows his face is been propped up, forefinger and thumb gripping into his cheek so hard that Harry can probably feel his teeth, he groans every so slightly because through it all this still feels so fucking good

'' You call that speaking ? What about your coffee date ? Maybe you can suck him off in the Starbucks toilet or something '' he barks increasing the hold. Louis sees red '' I would never '' he spits back as much as he can with his mouth squashed together '' Oh yeah ? How can I be sure? Because i didn't even know who the fuck you were today, fliryting with fucking Aidan and snapping at me and even daring saying No-'' he stops trying to catch his breath, Louis has never seen his this furious, not after the play party,not after coming without his permission. Never

Hes wracked with guilt, Harry looks genuinely tortured but there is still that part of him that wont fucking quit. He lets go quite suddenly and there is already a trail of spit down his chin. '' You remember your safeword, yes? ''he grits out and Louis nods. He expects it, with the position there in and the way Harry has swung back his left hand but he didn't expect the smack to be so fucking hard,There wasn't even a warning, a gentler warm up slap,just a hard hand straight to his cheek. It almost makes him topple over with the velocity off and fuck fuck fuck it feels so good, he wants more, more smacks, more red hand prints on the face. He's so fucking turned on he can barely see straight

'' More '' he grits up still keeping up the defiance, he would be dammed if he let Harry knew how much it aches. The second one comes faster and more severe to the opposite cheek, he splutters as the sting sinks in leaving a rapid tingling feeling,he gets a third and fourth to the right cheek causing it go to near numb. Harry is keeping his fingers tightly closed so the contact is more harsh, a fifth and a sixth and seventh before his whole face is burning spreading down to his neck. Harrys not said a word and usually he is slightly more vocal but this is just what it is, Louis taking what Harry thinks he deserves but he wants more, wants Harry to give him all he has and he still wont go under, he wants that satisfaction 

Louis thinks of the next thing he says as a sort off pinnacle moment in his sex life, the one that really makes him see clarity. If he ever writes a book on '' what not to say to your dominant'' it would probably just be filled with this phrase 

'' Is that as hard as you can hit ? '' He can still form sentences, stupid fucking sentences because Harry is slapping the shit out of him and Louis is undermining his confidence, his dominance skills and this isn't just teasing now, Its Louis hitting him where it really hurts. 

Harry pushes him back not missing a beat so he lands back first on the itchy rug, he cant breathe, cant think, hes in for it now and his tunnel vision is kicking in. All he can smell,touch, taste is him and its fucking euphoric. He's still got this, holding onto the cracks of the last shred of control he has. Harry's got him locked in, knees leaning heavily on each of biceps. He isn't even looking at him at all just shoving his jeans and boxers halfway down his thighs and Louis mouth opens automatically salivating at the sight of Harry's cock. Its been too long

The pressure is only mounting on his forearms and Harry scoots up leaning down with purpose as he shoves his dick in Louis mouth. He goes straight for gold pushing down until Louis can feel him hit the back of his throat, the positions so awkward Louis cant get a good grip and he is so fucked, all he can do is lie here and give it up. Harry's treating Louis likes hes just another mouth, he isn't gentle at all not that he ever is but the way he is just shoving his cock halfway down his throat without any regard is making his eyes water and his throat ache. Hes making a mess, spit everywhere and every time he pulls out just to thrust back in a trail of saliva connects them. 

Harry still hasn't said a word just quietly moaning every so often before he pulls out and starts wanking right above Louis mouth, near enough but far enough that he can dart out his tongue and lure him back in '' please '' he croaks, they are only five minutes in and hes begging already. Its not the sign '' Please, please. Wanna, i wanna taste you '' he wheezes out and fuck his throat is wrecked, it sounds like he has just swallowed a liter of paint stripper. There is saliva and pre come everywhere and every time he breathes he faintly tastes Harry and its torture

'' No '' is all Harry says before closing his eyes and speeding up the friction, hes close, Louis knows Harry's nearly there face from a mile off and he wants, wants so badly just to swallow him down but all he can is flop here uselessly pinned underneath Harry's relenting knees, his neglected cock lying heavy and leaking on his stomach. Harry chokes and he looks like he has something to say on the tip of tongue but before he can speak hes coming all over Louis fucking face without a warning or anything and hes angled it just right so Louis cant possibly lick around and taste him. He barely has time to react before Harry is pulling him up by hair digging his fingernails right in,hes crawling on all fours only supported by Harry's fist in the crown of his hair '' please, harry please, talk to me , talk to me '' he mumbles over and over again and how the fuck could Louis ever think he could do this? He is falling so fast

He is barely aware of anything, his whole body is hot then cold and he cant stop shaking. He is so ready, so so ready, he feels Harry lean to next to him on the center of the rug pulling him up so his torso draped over thighs, arse up. '' Harder huh ? I'll show you fucking hard. '' he snaps and He knows what going to happen, he knows what this position is for but the element of the unknown is still there and he cant fucking think, his brain all white noise with flashes of Harry. Louis wraps one arm around his thigh gripping on for dear life. Hes completely shutting down now and its never took such little time to send him on his way to his Harry induced subspace, a place he only trusts Harry to bring him too and more importantly bring him back.

Hes mouthing at his thigh through his jeans leaving it spit soaked but right now as pathetic as it is its the only way he can feel even closer to him in this position, his hazy mind only wanting to feel everything Harry has to offer '' i love you so much, so much, love you more than anything '' he whimpers against the denim and he's packing his bags on a round trip to that fantastic floating space. The perfect holiday from his constantly busy mind

The paddle swings back in the air and Louis hears it make contact before he feels it. Everything stills for a second and all he can hear is the blood rush to his ears and his heart hammering away like a freight train. Its a million times more painful than Louis remembers and a million times better. It feels like home, its feel like he was meant to do this, meant to give up everything and let Harry spank his arse raw with a bit of holed out wood, in a clear mind it would sound silly but Louis thoughts are so far away from sense.

Its so forceful it sends Louis almost flying off Harry's lap, but hes pulling his wrists behind his back locking them down with one hand. He cant wait to inspect the bruises later, show Harry what real art is. He wants this so bad, so sadistically much he is drooling trails of spit dribbling down his chin

Louis had alot of sex. With alot of different people back in the day when he thought this desire to be held down and smacked was so fucked up in the head he would give it up to just about anybody. He was ashamed, let fucked up Dom's fuck him over so all he ended up with was an empty ache and this side of him that constantly has his guard up.If people build walls, then Louis built the great wall of fucking China then Harry walked into his life all tattoos and charms and picketed through. Out of all the great sex,terrible sex,regretful sex,waking up and running out the door as soon as possible sex he has never,ever been so hard in all his life.

Its bracketing on cruelty, another lot of agony to add to the pile of pain '' How many do you think you deserve ? you were so bad today Louis '' he was so bad wasn't he ? Oh fuck, hes fucked this up '' I'm so so sorry Harry, Ive been so bad. I deserve this '' he garbles out and he feels Harry shift,his hard on digging into Louis shoulder blade '' Twenty it is, show how really sorry you are then. After every one apologize and if you forget we start over. Show me you want to make this right, that you are never tempted to say no again, that you wont flirt in front of me, that you want me. Show me '' he is so far gone he cant quite believe, he doesn't know when he slipped so deep , it was a gentle slide from one shift to the other and even if the whole house was burning around them , he still wouldn't move. 

Last time he done ten and couldn't move for a week, its double the trouble this time but Louis is so far gone he wants Harry to do a hundred if he likes, he cant voice this suggestion though because the paddle swings down again with a sickly slap, it hurts so bad that his whole body goes limp '' sorry '' he speaks remembering his place, two three four five they continue Harry switching up each cheek, before he reaches down to part Louis legs and take a hit right against the soft flesh of his inner right thigh. It fucking kills like having a million needles poke him all at once and he is screaming so loudly now that tears are forming in his eyes spilling out '' stop please, stop '' he begs '' I said say sorry not stop. We're starting again'' Harry says ever so calm but his voice is cracking at the edges and Louis is washed over with frustration at himself '' one '' Harry begins again and Louis spends the next 19 swings crying his eyes out until his arse and inner thighs are ruby red, inevitably already forming splotchy purple bruises. 

The world has disappeared beneath him. All he can feel is Harry and that paddle turning his skin into an inferno. He cant stop crying, cant stop apologizing,cant stop begging and Harry pulls him up lifelessly tucking him into the v of his open legs, he reaches down and kisses him for the first time all day and its paradise, he tastes of sunlight and champagne, a million different flavors, none of them vanilla '' Fuck. Louis you are so under. Ive never-'' but Louis is still sobbing fat tears rolling down his cheeks and he isn't sad, not really,hes overwhelmed in this dream like state and he is so consumed with the love he has for Harry that all he can do is cry like words and moans aren't enough '' you are so good, so good for me. good boy '' he pets at his hair and its like water after a drought, like a shot of adrenaline straight to his heart '' Ive got you '' he coos interlocking both there hands sliding up and down Louis stomach '' I am so lucky.'' he whispers against the shell of Louis ear and all that comes out now is a whimper '' Do you want me to fuck you ? '' he asks and Louis frantically garbles out a yes. There conjoined hands are ghosting around his cock now, purple with how hard he is leaking pre come like there isn't a tomorrow

He is so ready. Isn't he always ?

Harry still kissing his cheek as he wraps both their hands around his dick slowly so slowly pulling up and down from the head to the base. He groans loudly, it feels amazing, dry hands against his cock, both their hands getting him off. He's totally at Harry's mercy

He's only thirty seconds in and he wants come already after all the heavy play they've just done and Harry must sense this,gently letting go and placing him on the rug. All his attention is focused solely on Louis and he never wants to upset him again, never wants to make him feel jealous,would wash his hair with his feet if he needs. 

He hooks one leg over his shoulder so Louis ankle is resting in the hollow of his shoulder. Time moves so strange when Louis is down, all his worries and problems and defiance slipping away like the tide, all he can possibly do is replay Harry's name over and over again in his like a skipping record '' Breathe Louis '' Harry orders and Louis does taking in a deep breath watching Harry drizzle lube on his fingers '' yeah ? '' he asks ghosting a finger around his hole, Louis nods clenching around nothing, he wants wants wants and he going to get get get '' speak'' harry demands eyes completely onyx '' Yeah. Please '' he asks his voice sounding so distant like he is an audience member looking in. He slides in slowly, and its torture because its no where near enough and Louis cant move himself back because that is a cardinal sin in Harry's book. He adds another still going slow '' You're fucking perfect. Mine '' Harry pronounces and it leaves Louis blood boiling '' yours '' he breathes back through the haze and with that Harry adds a third, stretching and scissoring all his intent focused on this single moment, every cell in his body totally fixated on Louis. 

Its alot to take but the pain feels secondary, the line between pleasure and pain blurring together 5 smacks of the paddle ago. Harry's three fingers deep chanting how amazing Louis looks while he has got fucking come on his face,lube dripping out of his arse and tear tracks drying on his cheeks yet hes never felt so wanted, so desired, he never wants to leaves, wants to be wrapped up in this bliss forever

'' you feel so good, so tight. Your body, its like,shit,its always ready for me. You're the absolute best '' Harrys voice pierces through the veil and his tears start again because he loves being told hes good, that hes loved but being told hes the best by someone who he knows has had relationships and play dates with the most submissive subs to ever walk this earth, the type that will take such a pounding without question, the type that drop so easily. He doesn't have to be with such a difficult bastard but he is because Louis.is.the.fucking.best

'' Please fuck me, i need to feel you. Missed you so much. been so faraway '' he cries again but this time its silent only small whimpers escaping his lips, Harry withdraws his fingers leaving Louis feeling so empty it threatens a full blown sobbing attack but hes lining the head of his cock against his hole and yes yes yes is all Louis can possibly process.

He leans his head up ever so slightly because watching Harry go in is one of his favorite things in the world, its so hot watching how much he can take because Harry is anything but small. He slides in so slowly huffing out Louis name over and over again. The stretch is insane and Harry has to pause to pour even more lube on '' So tight '' he says again amazement in his voice. Louis chokes out stuttering breaths and Harry's in, slowly but surely hes all the way and Louis wants to scream it feels so good. So he does

'' Haaaaarrrryy '' he drags out his name with a moan arching his back, letting his head hit back against the rug '' how do you feel ? tell me ? '' hes only doing little millimeter thrusts but its something '' so close to you, feel so close to you. Its why.. I was such a brat today just wanted to be close to you '' hes crying again most likely and even in this altered state the truth startles him. Sex with Harry is more than riding crops and handcuffs, its intimate, spiritual even makes him feel so loved and beautiful and people have different ideas of making love but being slapped within an inch of his life and fucked roughly is the greatest gift he can give Harry, hes giving it all up, trusting him with everything, letting him take over for a bit is amazing where he doesn't have to worry about anything, where all the decisions are made for him, trivial ones to when he can stand up or sit down or more important ones like when he can come

All the days he spent letting random strangers hands claw and gape and push and open left him with a hole in his soul and self-esteem in tatters and then Harry came into his life, held him so tight that all his broken pieces sowed themselves back together. This is the boy he is going to marry, have children with, pick out wallpaper with, this is the boy that Louis wants to do everything for so to see Harry so busy with work,picturing stunning models and chatting with socialites only leaves him so scared that he's going to leave, find a better sub, a better boyfriend and like a wounded animal hes lashed out

Its clarity, like the scales have fallen from his eyes and everything makes sense. This wasn't just pouting for sex, it was a cry for help, a cry that he needs Harry so so much '' You're always close to me'' he whispers leaning down so their foreheads are resting, he hooks both Louis legs around his neck so he can get in deeper but still remains at that slow pace '' oh god '' Louis groans never keeping his eyes off Harry '' i thought.. art, models, prettier than me and naturally submissive. Better than me, don't leave me ok please? '' its utterly nonsense but makes sense in his head and Harry's eyes go wide cupping his face '' Don't be.. Louis you're perfect, you're beautiful. You're a pain in the ass but so am i and ill never leave, I'm so sorry for making you feel like this,forgive me ?'' he chokes between kisses planted all over his face, the corner of his mouth, his nose, his eyelids '' only if you forgive me '' he asks and he nods through closed eyes pushing the stray hairs from Louis eyes and despite earlier intentions its a slow drag, where Louis can feel every inch of Harry and his stomach is pooling with familiar warmth '' what do you want? ''Harry asks voice shaking '' Harry, haz, harry' he blurts over fluttering his eyes shut '' Can i come ? Please '' he begs softly. Stray tears escaping from his eyes '' of course. you have been good, take so little, give so much. i love you i love you '' he repeats over and over again locked in his little topsace.

 

He wraps a hand around Louis cocks and tugs once, twice and its all over. White spots dance in front of his eyes and Harry is panting into his mouth telling him how good he is over and over again until his own orgasm hits and he is never quite as loud as Louis but his own moan hums through the room. 

There is sweat and spit and come and lube everywhere but Louis doesn't care. Harry looks absolutely spent huffing into Louis chest. There's a silence while they regain their breath '' fuck '' Harry mutters and if Louis could process words he would fervently agree, he sits up stroking his face before backing out. Louis clings though digging his heals into his back and this is one of the times where role reversal is allowed '' stay please'' he just wants to feel Harry in him a bit longer, doesn't want him to pull out just yet ''of course'' he shifts back in and it causes them both to flinch '' you're so good, that was just.. I'm blown away. Darling baby so good for me all the time '' its hardly true but Louis will take it, he kisses his lips softly playing with a stray bit of hair. Louis reaches up ghosting his hand through Harry's sweaty hair. 

'' Im so sorry if i made you feel.. far away from me. You know that was never my intention. It was selfish of me to take us to the show today. Sorry '' He looks so sincere the green creeping back into his eyes,he reaches out beside him grabbing his shirt and wipes the flecks of dry come and spit away from his face and Louis own come from his belly. He hums appreciatively but he still isn't fully back yet. Hes still looking for a landing.

Times passes and Harry's still nestled inside him playing idly with his hair '' I'm sorry as well '' he whispers voice still sore, he props his head up, slowly bottoming out and its such a strange feeling going from being full to having nothing but hes been hauled into Harry's arms and he feels instantly better

''Hi '' he bops his nose '' Hi'' Louis smiles and being back is good because he cant stay down forever but it means really feeling the sting of his bum, the tingle of his cheek, the ache in his legs but he doesn't care, its a glorious reminder '' Welcome back'' he hands him a bottle of water and does harry have everything stashed away in the living room ? '' where did you get all this ? '' he laughs taking a slurp off the water,cooling down his raw throat '' I brought it down earlier.. but you only noticed the paddle '' of course he would '' About that.. Was that ok ? Tell me all that was ok ? It was .. you were so down Louis, went down after the second slap. I had more planned but I didnt want you get manic.. but It was fucking amazing, you looked so good '' he flushes with the praise '' that was way more than ok. I dropped so fast it was a bit overwhelming but i.. I'm learning '' he winks back drinking more of water '' You are'' he pulls him in closer '' But.. '' He trails off '' But.. i think, you know i went down so easily because we hadn't slept together in a week, hadn't done a scene in two and that was amazing yeah but i don't want every time that i drop solely to be because we are having some very intense make up sex. I just want to be good for you Haz, you know that, i just find it difficult and my fucking you know self esteem and my daddy issues have daddy issues '' he cant look at him just traces the birds on his collarbones '' it always makes me paranoid you're going to find someone better or whatever so that's why i always have my guard up the majority of the time and fuck i-''Harry clamps a sweaty hand over his mouth 

'' Louis Tomlinson '' he says slowly meeting his eyes '' Please, please don't ever think this. I don't give a shit about natural submissive or whatever phrase you've seemed to coin because i love you and its you i want to mould and you that I've decided on not some silly boy who wont use safe words, you. Do you understand that? '' And fuck Louis isn't even under and he can feel the familiar burn of tears, he nods his head because he does, he knows Harry loves him, its just bizarre to him why because hes Louis and well Harry.. is Harry.

'' I know sometimes i get mad only because you wont let me through and its frustrating, like today or that time at Zayn and Liam's wedding but its so worth it,we're getting there i promise. Shit we need to talk about this stuff more and not when we're about to come our brains out but like properly. When you're up to it,ok? '' Louis chest is about to burst with love, in what universe did he deserve this dedication? This unyielding trust?

He shakes his head agreeing but he is so tired and a proper adult conversation is needed but he wants to sleep first '' love you '' he mutters, closing his eyes against his chest '' love you more '' and Louis will personally defend that statement as soon as he is more awake

Harry hums the beach boys and Louis is going to sleep so so happy.

He loves viciously


End file.
